I took six weeks off from recording any gestures of NICE. I didn't mean for it to go this long, but here it is six weeks later and I now I am ready to write again about NICE.
I was hoping that being NICE had become a habit. Every day I thought about being nice. Sometimes I planned what I'd do (invite a friend to a movie) or just let the nice happen spontaneously. I didn't want to write about it, I just wanted to do it, to have it become part of my life. But as the weeks went on, I found starting thinking less and less about nice. And after I started thinking about it less, I did it less.
II thought I'd start writing about my experiences again because of what happened today.
I was taking my daily walk and as I walked through the corner gas station, I noticed an elegant older woman filling her tank. I really loved the pants she was wearing and at first wasn't going to say anything, but then I thought I'd be NICE and tell her how lovely she looked.
I turned around and told her that I really liked her outfit and the pants were especially gorgeous and looked so good on her. Her face just lit up and she said: "Today is my birthday and I'm on my way to a lunch with friends, and you just gave me my first birthday gift!" And that made ME feel great....so....
Thirty Days of Nice (Redux)
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Day 30 -- Where NICE Started
I "finished" my "thirty days of nice". Looking back at the things I did, big and small, I feel good. And I'm glad I have a record of it, for myself. I never feel like I do enough for others and often feel like a "bad" person. (It's a whole 'nother blog to deal with that), so it was great to write about handing out my daily gifts of nice. It's become a habit now and I will keep it up though won't write daily about it, not right now.
I was thinking about what inspired me and it was when a woman I'm acquainted with spoke about how she was frustrated with her 6-year-old son when because he wasn't doing his homework one night. He was preoccupied with something else, with what she thought was just goofing around, drawing pictures, and when she asked what he was up to, he told her he was creating little packets to give to the homeless people he had seen in the neighborhood! He put a dollar into a Baggie and included pictures he had drawn and a little note: "You are loved".... She was so amazed at his compassion and generosity and enjoyed seeing the reactions of the people he gave a Baggie to as they walked around the neighborhood with him the next day.
I thought, if a six-year-old can do this small act of kindness "done with great love" then I could and SHOULD as well. In whatever way I could manage. That's how I started...and what inspires me to continue.
I was thinking about what inspired me and it was when a woman I'm acquainted with spoke about how she was frustrated with her 6-year-old son when because he wasn't doing his homework one night. He was preoccupied with something else, with what she thought was just goofing around, drawing pictures, and when she asked what he was up to, he told her he was creating little packets to give to the homeless people he had seen in the neighborhood! He put a dollar into a Baggie and included pictures he had drawn and a little note: "You are loved".... She was so amazed at his compassion and generosity and enjoyed seeing the reactions of the people he gave a Baggie to as they walked around the neighborhood with him the next day.
I thought, if a six-year-old can do this small act of kindness "done with great love" then I could and SHOULD as well. In whatever way I could manage. That's how I started...and what inspires me to continue.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Day 26 thru 29 -- Being of Service
This was the weekend of Sue's memorial. It was a beautiful gathering, held under an apple tree overlooking Lake Champlain on a gorgeous Vermont day. I loved the sweet smell of the fallen apples on the ground and the birds chirping and bees buzzing around us. Sue would have LOVED this. Fifty people sat in chairs arranged in a circle and Winnie read a elegant, encompassing and moving tribute to Sue's life. A friend sang "Amazing Grace", her voice echoing over the lake. It was the celebration of her life she asked for.
Various people read her poetry, journal entries, and political commentaries. I read the poem about the heart-shaped rock and passed around the necklace which everyone enjoyed seeing (especially the ranger from Coolidge Park who came to the memorial). Anyone who wanted to, related a memory about Sue and it was wonderful to hear these stories and see Sue through other's eyes. Ernie created a DVD of photos and film of her life, accompanied with her favorite Beethoven piano concerto.
My goal for the weekend was to be of service in any way I could. To just be the NICEST I could be to everyone. Setting up, cleaning up, greeting guests, talking to people I didn't know to welcome them (something I'm not good at). I didn't wait to be asked to do something, I just tried to pitch in where ever I could. And I just "went with the flow" of things. And it was the exact right thing to do.
Various people read her poetry, journal entries, and political commentaries. I read the poem about the heart-shaped rock and passed around the necklace which everyone enjoyed seeing (especially the ranger from Coolidge Park who came to the memorial). Anyone who wanted to, related a memory about Sue and it was wonderful to hear these stories and see Sue through other's eyes. Ernie created a DVD of photos and film of her life, accompanied with her favorite Beethoven piano concerto.
My goal for the weekend was to be of service in any way I could. To just be the NICEST I could be to everyone. Setting up, cleaning up, greeting guests, talking to people I didn't know to welcome them (something I'm not good at). I didn't wait to be asked to do something, I just tried to pitch in where ever I could. And I just "went with the flow" of things. And it was the exact right thing to do.
Day 25 -- Take Your Time
I've been seeing a new hairstylist in Beverly Hills. He's trying to get new customers so he put certificates for a complimentary haircut in gift bags for an event I attended. I liked the haircut, especially the way he cut my bangs--hard to find someone who can cut them in the exact way I like--and I liked his fees which were lower than the typical BevHills salon.
The downside is that he's a bit of a flake. When I showed up for my appointment today, he had mistakenly double-booked the time and was running 40 minutes behind and asked if I could wait. In the past, this kind of timing mix-up would have irritated me to no end and I'd have let him know it. Even if I wasn't in a rush. But I knew he was struggling to get customers and he had given me a free haircut a few months before so I just took a deep breath, smiled and said "take your time." I didn't have any where I needed to be, parking was free for 2 hours, and there were a bunch of magazines on the rack that I hadn't read. It was no big deal to hang out.
Just as I sat down with a big pile of mags to wait, he told me he'd like to offer me a free glossing and conditioning treatment (and certificates for a free haircut for two friends) since I had been so NICE!
Day 24 -- Heart Song
Sue's memorial service will in the backyard common area overlooking Lake Champlain in Burlington, VT. It will be very casual and along with the eulogy written by her daughter, anyone who wants to say something will be able to.
I am reading through the illustrated handmade poetry books Sue had given to me over the years. She was VERY prolific. And I think I am going to read the poem she wrote about her summer camping in Coolidge State Park when she found a heart-shaped stone in a brook and had it made into a necklace.
Sue and I bonded over our mutual love for nature. Every time I took a walk and would see a feather or a perfect leaf on the ground I would think of Sue. Often I picked up the leaf or feather and made a card for Sue. I admired Sue for her ability to look at the same tree or mountain or lake or sunset and see something new each time. And I loved that she never stopped making art, up until her last months of life. For me, Sue's philosophy is encapsulated in one of my favorite lines she wrote: "...my shore sparkles with treasure where none had been before..."
I am going to wear the heart-shaped stone when I read her poetry and then pass it around at them memorial for everyone to see. That will be NICE.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Day 23 -- Sad Day
My mother-in-law passed away peacefully yesterday. She was an artist, poet, teacher, world traveler, humanitarian. She was almost 88 years old and lived each day to its fullest. She painted and wrote mostly about nature and one of my favorite lines: "...My shore sparkles with treasure where none had been before..." sums up her life philosophy for me. She could look at a bird or sunset or mountain or ocean wave and see something new every time.
For my 50th birthday she gave me one of her favorite sculptures (my favorite) called "Stargazer". It's a rough-hewn figure of a woman gazing skyward. She had it in her garden and now it is the centerpiece of mine. I see it every time I look out the window. I am going to have a NICE day today... she wanted her life to be remembered with celebration, not sadness, so I am going to honor that and go outside today and sit next to "Stargazer" and read Sue's poetry and reflect on her life, her work, her contributions and how the world is a better place because she was here.
For my 50th birthday she gave me one of her favorite sculptures (my favorite) called "Stargazer". It's a rough-hewn figure of a woman gazing skyward. She had it in her garden and now it is the centerpiece of mine. I see it every time I look out the window. I am going to have a NICE day today... she wanted her life to be remembered with celebration, not sadness, so I am going to honor that and go outside today and sit next to "Stargazer" and read Sue's poetry and reflect on her life, her work, her contributions and how the world is a better place because she was here.
Day 22 -- Recycle
I'm not too "green". I make really small efforts at conservation like turning out lights, running the dishwasher and washer/dryer only with a full load and at off hours, don't overwater the lawn or overuse the a/c. And. I. Recycle. Whoop-de-doooo!
I love doing my weekly tour of the house, putting old newspapers, boxes, magazines, bottles, junk mail, printer paper in the blue recycle bin. My mantra is "every little bit counts". A few months ago (before NICE started), I got a little indignant when I saw someone drive up with an old beat-up truck and go through my trash can and remove all the plastic bottles and aluminum cans. HOW DARE THEY TAKE MY TRASH !! (Key operative word: "trash") Then my neighbor (the one who knows everything that happens on the block) put out an email alert for everyone on the block to stop "these people" from taking trash from the cans. (Again, when you dispose of trash, does it matter who takes it? And it is going to be recycled, and by someone who probably needs the cash.) She was just concerned about potential crime...unknown persons regularly driving down the street might discern who is not home during the day or on vacation and that knowledge might invite a break-in. Seemed a reasonable request.
So I put all the "valuable" recycleables waaaay on the bottom of the can, with the "undesireable" newspapers, magazines, boxes, junk mail on the top, to discourage rummaging. However, this was not a deterrent. Early in the evening I heard cans clanking and came outside to politely ask the trash-stealers not to open our trash cans. Personal property, it's against the law...blah-blah-blah. They politely apologized and left. But the next week, a different truck came. Again I asked they cease and desist. They too nodded politely and drove off, but returned in the wee hours of the morning when everyone was asleep. Now I was steamed. And determined to "show them". I made a note that next trash day, I'd put the recycleables out at seven in the morning, right before trash pick-up!
Then I got some sense. What difference did it make who took our recycleables? My long-in-coming revelation was that the people who trolled the neighborhood recycle cans most likely NEEDED the money. It was hard, dirty work to collect bottles and cans for a refund of a few pennies. But for these people, perhaps a few pennies (times a hundred cans) might mean a hot meal for their family. Our city and state officials have mis-managed and wasted our funds and we're in such a deep debt that I thought "why should the irresponsible goverment get the profits from my bottles and cans? Why can't a poor, hard-working person, trying to feed a family in these tough times, have that cash instead?" AND, the recycleables are MINE...I paid the 5 cent fee on each one...and they are mine to dispose of how I pleased. And it pleased me that a needy person might take them for a refund instead of the screwed-up city.
Today I put keep the "valuable" bottles and cans in a separate bag, and put it on top of the blue can for easy, quiet access. That's NICE.
I love doing my weekly tour of the house, putting old newspapers, boxes, magazines, bottles, junk mail, printer paper in the blue recycle bin. My mantra is "every little bit counts". A few months ago (before NICE started), I got a little indignant when I saw someone drive up with an old beat-up truck and go through my trash can and remove all the plastic bottles and aluminum cans. HOW DARE THEY TAKE MY TRASH !! (Key operative word: "trash") Then my neighbor (the one who knows everything that happens on the block) put out an email alert for everyone on the block to stop "these people" from taking trash from the cans. (Again, when you dispose of trash, does it matter who takes it? And it is going to be recycled, and by someone who probably needs the cash.) She was just concerned about potential crime...unknown persons regularly driving down the street might discern who is not home during the day or on vacation and that knowledge might invite a break-in. Seemed a reasonable request.
So I put all the "valuable" recycleables waaaay on the bottom of the can, with the "undesireable" newspapers, magazines, boxes, junk mail on the top, to discourage rummaging. However, this was not a deterrent. Early in the evening I heard cans clanking and came outside to politely ask the trash-stealers not to open our trash cans. Personal property, it's against the law...blah-blah-blah. They politely apologized and left. But the next week, a different truck came. Again I asked they cease and desist. They too nodded politely and drove off, but returned in the wee hours of the morning when everyone was asleep. Now I was steamed. And determined to "show them". I made a note that next trash day, I'd put the recycleables out at seven in the morning, right before trash pick-up!
Then I got some sense. What difference did it make who took our recycleables? My long-in-coming revelation was that the people who trolled the neighborhood recycle cans most likely NEEDED the money. It was hard, dirty work to collect bottles and cans for a refund of a few pennies. But for these people, perhaps a few pennies (times a hundred cans) might mean a hot meal for their family. Our city and state officials have mis-managed and wasted our funds and we're in such a deep debt that I thought "why should the irresponsible goverment get the profits from my bottles and cans? Why can't a poor, hard-working person, trying to feed a family in these tough times, have that cash instead?" AND, the recycleables are MINE...I paid the 5 cent fee on each one...and they are mine to dispose of how I pleased. And it pleased me that a needy person might take them for a refund instead of the screwed-up city.
Today I put keep the "valuable" bottles and cans in a separate bag, and put it on top of the blue can for easy, quiet access. That's NICE.
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